All about low brass

I’ve been playing an instrument for 21 years now. The tuba. That leaves some room for ridicule, but then every musician makes jokes about the other instruments or sections.

What’s the difference between a brass orchestra and a bull?
The bull has the horns at the front and the asshole at the back.

There’s a fair amount of music puns going around in my twitter feed occasionally and innuendo does play a large role in that as well. You might have noticed. Or maybe not. Anyway, most of the following parody was concieved during and just before playing a sort of caroling concert at my home village just before Christmas. So there’s that. The original, pretty obviously, is Megan Trainor’s “All about that bass”. You may have heard it.

Because you know
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass, no trumpet
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass, no woodwind
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass, no drumset
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass

Yeah, it’s pretty deep, I play no dog whistle
But I can blow it, blow it
And you are gonna hear
’cause I got that volume that all the ears fear
And all the right valves in all the right places

I see the saxophone with all the fake shine
We know that brass ain’t real
C’mon admit it now
If you got real metal, just blow it loud
’cause every inch of it is shiny
From the mouthpiece to the bell

Yeah, my conducter told me to please play it quiet
I said I like a little more metal to sound out right
You know I don’t play no firewood squeaky ass clarinet
So if that’s what you wanna hear please get out of my way

Because you know
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass, no trumpet
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass, no woodwind
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass, no drumset
I’m all about low brass
’bout low brass
Hey!

I’m bringing tuba back
Go ahead and tell them squeaky flutists that
Now I’m here playing. I know you think you’re rad
But I’m here to show you
Every inch of it is metal from the mouthpiece to the bell

Yeah they did tell me an orchestra needs all kinds
They say without the other instruments it won’t sound right
You know I won’t play no wanna-be flugelhorn trumpet part
So if that’s what you wanna hear please get out of my way

Because you know
I’m all about low brass

 

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  1. Pingback All about them scales (parody lyrics) - OlliCrusoe.Net

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