Tweetrimony

If you read my first blog post you might guess that one thing that has almost fascinated me about the internet is the possibility to connect to people you would never had met without it.

And I’ve done a lot of that. Web chats, forums, IRC, online games of one sort or the other. Some people I met randomly, others via common friends and acquaintances.

Social networking websites and -media has boosted those possibilities in the past decade and twitter is one of the most interesting services around for that.

The character limit and the possibility to tweet at people that don’t actively follow require a certain brevity and clarity in your communication that enables to strike up conversations really quick because you HAVE to get to the point.

Despite the limit it is surprisingly easy to have meaningful conversations as well as enjoying hilarious banter.

Here’s something that has entertained me a lot in the past few days, and thanks to everyone involved.

Enjoy!

 

Oh, and if you are looking for more twitter fun besides my non marriage, there’s @CairnRodrigues youtube show twitterati! :)

the key to failure

I am one of those persons who will, not only immediately before and after, but also randomly check the core components for my survival when I’m going somewhere or leaving the house.

– keys
– phone
– wallet

That hasn’t stopped myself from locking myself out of the car in 1999, or out of my parents house or out of my flat in one memorable occasion1.

But who hasn’t, right?

Anyway, let’s get to the story, shall we?

In 2012 a coworker2 asked me to take pictures at her wedding. I’m not a professional photographer, and I usually make this clear to people, but I’ve occasionally been “hired” as a photographer for events like weddings, birthday parties, a baptism. Not for the official wedding photos, but to take pictures of the ceremony itself, the party shenanigans, that sort of stuff.
The wedding took place on a Saturday, I was supposed to take pictures together with another hired gun at the ceremony and later at the party in another place. Overnight stay was included, so I packed things for the overnight stay, camera, batteries, memory cards, lenses, tripod and all the fun stuff.
The wedding ceremony was in a town about 40 miles away. Since I wasn’t exactly familiar with that place, I just parked my car in a parking lot near the town center bus station and found the wedding venue on foot, easily enough. It was only a mile or so away. The wedding was beautiful and fun to take pictures at, it was a nice place, I got to know a few people and met two ex-coworkers who were also invited, one of them being the second photographer.

They were also nice enough to drive me back to my car after the ceremony, so I wouldn’t have to walk.

They dropped me off and while getting out of their car, I slid the hand in the jacket of my pocket to pop the trunk using the remote in my car keys. I opened it, threw my camera inside and at a moment’s notice decided to put my jacket in there as well.
Next I slammed the trunk shut and panicked.

Holy shit, I just threw my car keys into the car boot and closed it again.

I dashed around the car and grabbed the door handle, because I’d actually heard the lock mechanism in the trunk snap shut.

Fun fact: with my car, there are two ways to open things with the remote. Trunk only, or the central locking mechanism which unlocks everything. Guess what I’d used.

I turned around and saw my coworkers’ car pulling out of the parking lot. Dashing after it and waving, running after them for a few seconds until they crossed a larger intersection, I realized that it wouldn’t matter anyway. My keys and my camera were in the car.

I checked the pockets of my dress trousers3. Usually, when wearing those, I would have my wallet and my phone in my jacket for comfort, but for some reason not this time.

Browsing my contact list for people I might know from the wedding, I found one entry.
The bride. No good.

It also started to rain a little bit. Sending silent prayers to whoever was listening I called my sister who thankfully was neither out and about and partying nor nursing a hangover, but simply being at home. We live in the same city, so I explained what had happened. She agreed to help me out, so I described where my spare car keys were4 and she went to get them for me.

She drove all the way to where I was, opened the car5 and drove off with my spare key again. She still has it. For emergencies.6

While waiting I’d also googled and called the hotel where the party was scheduled.

“Hey, you are hosting a wedding party tonight, right? Has the bride arrived yet? No? Ok, please tell her, as soon as she arrives, that Olli is okay and he’ll be there in 90 minutes or so. Nothing to worry about.”

When I arrived at the hotel, grinning sheepishly, I told the bride my story and she told me about how the hotel personnel told her that she shouldn’t worry, “that Olli guy sounded quite cheerful and laughed a lot”.

Yeah, that’s what I usually do, when dumb things happen, I laugh about myself. We still laugh about that story occasionally today. The wedding party was wonderful, we had loads of fun, I took tons of pictures and they all turned out pretty well.

So that’s my fail story for this weekend. If you like that sort of stuff, you should totally check out the Utter Failures blog by @LauraLeeSeo

It has some wonderful failures by her and some illustrous guest bloggers7.

And to round things off, here’s a photograph of a present I got recently. Check out the 52 photos project if you want to know what other people got.

duck

 

Footnotes
  1. spare set of keys was also inside my flat because I hadn’t given them back to my sister for emergencies yet []
  2. actually two, but only one of them is relevant today []
  3. wedding, you know []
  4. fun fact: this happened like two months after the “locked out of appartment” incident mentioned above and boy am I glad I gave my spare keys to my sister shortly afterwards []
  5. in the mean time I’d spend some time in a pub/bistro drinking tea []
  6. like me being dumb []
  7. including myself sending a text to the wrong recipient with near catastrophic consequences []

let me show you round

Today’s blog post is feature by the week 47 photography prompt by www.52photosproject.com and by the gorgeous weather and my friend who agreed to go out for dinner tonight. Well, yesterday, if you consider “now” the moment the blog was posted.

A place I would show you in my town

When I first read the prompt I knew what I picture I’d use, but I spontaneously decided to grab my camera and head into town after work.

Which I did.

Trier is1 mostly known for its historical heritage. There are nine world heritage sites within the city limits alone.

Not exactly surprising if you knot that Trier is probably the oldest city in Germany2.

The historical city center has a mixture of new things in old houses, among others a coffee shop in a 13th century house.

But  the most well-known landmark, the thing every tourist gets to see and the one thing I would absolutely show you is the old Roman city gate, the Porta Nigra.

Trier has a very rich Roman heritage and was the capital of the Roman empire for large parts of the 4th century, and the largest city north of the Alps.

In that period the Romans were rather busy and built loads of stuff like baths, the largest amphitheater outside of what today is Italy and of course the Porta Nigra, the “black gate”3.

This northern city gate, originally also called Porta Martis – Gate of Mars4 was probably built around 180 AD. Building it took about 4-5 years, unfortunately it was never finished.

The Romans used around 7200 blocks of local sandstone, the largest weighing about 6 metric tons.

In the middle ages a Sicilian monk took up residence in the gate, allegedly died and got walled in there. The archbishop of Trier, going by the kind of funny name “Poppo” got him declared a Saint and had the gate converted to a rather strange looking church.

We can consider ourselves lucky that Napoleon came along in 1802, closed the church and decided to restore the gate to its former glory, except for the eastern tower that had been destroyed during the conversion to a church.

The Prussians finished in 1815 what Napoleon had started and 1986 the Porta Nigra, the emblem and pride of Trier, was declared World Heritage by the UNESCO.

And it really is impressive, I can only recommend to any visitors to check it out, go in if you have the time or maybe even book the special guided tour “The Secret of Porta Nigra”.

Call me, it’s German, you might need a translator for that one.

 

Footnotes
  1. not counting the awful dialect and the highest density of shoe stores you could imagine []
  2. allegedly even founded 1300 years BEFORE Rome by some Assyrian prince []
  3. no, it’s not the gate of Mordor []
  4. the Roman god of war, because the North would’ve been the direction of the enemy []

combining shakespeare and limericks

People have been screaming, crying and shouting1 for more limericks ever since I first posted a blog post containing mostly silly and/or weird rhymes for wacie’s word of the week writing challenge.

The follow-up about Pulp Fiction turned into limericks was as2 popular, so I am kind of lucky I had one more tucked away.

I originally wrote this for a web community ages ago and titled it “If Shakespeare was an Irishman”.

I don’t think anyone really knows if limericks originated from Ireland, or at least were first named/categorized there. The fact is, Shakespeare actually used this form of poetry at least once, in a drinking song in Othello.

What I did was rather simple:
I took several works of Shakespeare, browsed for interesting/well known quotes and tried to turn them into silly limericks, because, why not?

Enjoy guessing my favorites and the descent into madness, as they get weirder and weirder towards the end of this post. Well…they’re all pretty weird.

Here goes, in the order that I wrote them:

no 18
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s toe,
Thou art more fingery, thou shalt know!
Five on each foot,
Stuck in a boot
And none have named thee friend nor foe.

Prince of Denmark
To be or not to be, don’t ask the question
You’ll rip apart the caref’lly crafted bastion
In which
Your sanity, that bitch
Thought it could get some rest on.

Another one from Helsingore
There’s something rotten in the fridge of Denmark,
The smell so strong you neighbours yell: “Hark!
Throw out that cheese,
I beg you, please!”
It’s just the carcass of an aardvark.

In Julius Cesar, Act III, Antonius grows hungry
Friends, Romans, countrymen,
Please lend me a hen,
Some eggs I need
Mine is the greed
For an omelette fried in a pan.

The merchant of Venice was a creepy fellow
If you prick us, don’t we bleed?
If you lick us, will we breed?
Don’t by shy,
Give it a try,
A little romp is all we need!

Romeo had something very specific in mind, in act II, scene II
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
I hope she doesn’t plan to be a nun.
“A real shame!”
I would exclaim.
“That ruins an awful lot of fun!”

The Tempest probably was the weirdest
Where the bee sucks, there suck I,
Until the spring runs tot’lly dry,
Do bees suck?
What the…
Nonsense, but I admit I had to try.

Speaking of crazy, Old MacBeth should be heard about this
Is this a dagger which I see,
Why does the coroner ask me?
I’m not a corpse.
But space-time warps
And then I see a sucking bee!

Apparently Manowar stole their lyrics from Midsummernights Dream, specificly act II, scene I
My heart is true as steel,
Before me even demons kneel,
Sword at my side,
Eyes open wide,
Your troops are at my heel!

 

 

The rest is silence…

– Hamlet, act V, scene II

how I start my day - well, what did you expect?

how I start my day – well, what did you expect? – for www.52photosproject.com

Footnotes
  1. dramatization []
  2. or even more []