my submission to the writing challenge

For all those who missed it, there is a writing challenge going about. The full rules are here and I also wrote a blog post about it to get more people to join. What’s more, you still can join until the end of the month!

When my friend announced the writing challenge, my first thoughts were:

  • awesome
  • I’ll use the words all in order of apperance
  • I’ll put them all in really bad limericks
  • crap!

Because, if you know me, you know I’ll never back out of a silly thing once I’ve been goaded to do it.

So before you submit to the horribleness of my limerick epic, take a moment to watch this picture which I submitted to the 52 photos project.

This week’s prompt was “my reflection”. Like most hobby photographers I’m a little obsessed with reflections, so thought about posting some picture or the other of reflections on water, in windows, sunglasses or polished cars. But then I stumbled up on this one, and I’ll leave it up to you what it means.

tuba_backlight-21

 

The 2013 #chatspike word of the week writing challenge!

This year needs a retrodiction
In words of science or fiction
Not an Ekphrasis
Which is quite a bliss
Because it would end up as LOLcat caption.

Ratiocination is not really needed
Just the guidelines have to be heeded
Hey you all,
Be veridical
Have fun, sub rosa, or beat it.

It wont do malinger today
Leading my fanfaronade astray
to use every word
In t’order t’appear’d
Or wangle myself out of the way.

Some might perceive this as longueur
The clerisy finds silliness hard to bear
Ailurophiles chat
’bout the lack of cat
I guess I’ll have the canaille’s hat to wear.

No factotum is doing my writing
Which is quite enlight’ning
Aureately ’tis not
Didn’t bathe to hot
Do you wish yet I was struck by lightning?

I made the list my MacGuffin
But my cathexis needed tough’nin
Please stay my friend
Before the end
The bad rhymes ‘ll have you coughin’.

If they have the most venal looks
Or I’ll macerate and infuriate cooks
Whatever the trance
There’s no chance
This thing will end in a colporteur’s books.

Want to bleach your mind yet?
The criteria have not been met
I doubt they will
Please stay chill
For billingsgate the stage won’t be set.

No billet-doux, no effrontery
But quite some alterity
Sequacious
yet voracious
Sorry for this bad blathery.

You may find some hypocorism for me
Unless reading this your death will be
Want to keep living?
Start woolgath’ring!
Before the wordy vorago swallows thee.

This work is all but terpsichorean
And if you get hold of a DeLorean
Go back in time
Your priority prime
To find a nudnik who’ll translate this to Korean.

This poem is just a means to snaffle
Whatever wacie put into the raffle
I’m kidding,
Do my bidding,
Don’t take this serious, I’m just trying to baffle.

It’s hard making sense of ecotone,
But the sense has long been blown
If you expect
Sense in effect
There will be more to make you groan.

This epic piece wont have a corrigendum
If ever reading it I can refrain from
I’ll be glad
If Instead
I’ll turn to philately or play the steel drum.

Those limericks will never cause a masscult
Deuteragonists will consider it an insult
If forced to read
They will plead
To be spared from an extemporaneous decision’s result.

If you spread this in some conurbation
Even if only an inchoate iteration
Camarillas will form
And raise up a storm
To bring this arriviste to a carceral location.

To advert people to this chthonic thing
Some malapropism might make your ears ring
Words are abused
Brains get bruised
Hurts some apparatchik like a baseball swing.

In fact I think this crap is so bad
“Tu quoque” is no retort I’ll have had
If whoever
Hopefully never
Tells me my strung up words make ’em mad.

Only a few more words are left to use
My attempt to get by is a fey ruse!
Oriflamme!
Jean-Claude van Damme!
Styptic and mythomania don’t rhyme.1

There will be more limericks in the future. At least twice. And I promise they’re gonna be mostly better.

Thanks for bearing with me. And sorry you had to read this.

Footnotes
  1. boom! HAHA! It’s not a proper limerick epic without one of these []

1 thought on my submission to the writing challenge

  1. Pingback combining shakespeare in limericks

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